Hey, Mom. I See You Dancing in Your Car.

There are few no-judgment zones in this world. I like to think the inside of my car is one of them. I'm sure I'm wrong and, in fact, can only imagine the number of drivers who constantly judge my front seat off-key karaoke concerts. But the great thing about believing the inside of my car is a no-judgment zone is that I don't care that I'm wrong.

Who wouldn't play the fool just to see this little grin?

I think it's important that all moms feel this way and, really, at least a good percentage of them must. Otherwise, I would be the only parent putting my right arm in and shaking it all about in my seat. I've seen you do this, too. Red lights are everywhere. (Although if you're doing this when your kids aren't in the car, we may need to have a separate talk about that.)

Flailing my hands around and wiggling my butt mid-commute carries its own perks. Am I waving at the driver in front of me? Watching him try to figure it out is always fun. Unfortunately, he doesn't see his sedan as the no-holds-barred safety zone that I do. That's why his arm raises slightly in a daring attempt to return the wave and then drops suddenly as gumption fades into uncertainty. After all, if I'm not waving at him, he doesn't want to look like a fool. No, no, driver. We wouldn't want that.

It occurs to me that the writers of many classic kids' songs had more than childish entertainment in mind when creating accompanying gestures. If not for the potential for parental foolhardiness, why else would there be so much clapping, stomping, and barking? Luckily, I don't shy away from a little embarrassment.

That's odd. It seems none of my potentially embarrassing photos will load properly. Oh, well.

The point is (yes, I was eventually making my way to a point), most parents will do just about anything to get a giggle out of their child. If it means I have to march in place (challenging while driving) so my daughter can see "Father Abraham" come to life, so be it. Every time my hand smacks the window during "Deep and Wide" I'm reminded that nothing is more rewarding than that tiny laugh from the backseat. Besides, there's no substitute for the pride I feel each time Bailey does the hand motions for "The Wheels on the Bus". Just be sure you're practicing safe driving during all live performances.

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Daycare Do-Over

Daycare, apparently, doesn't always spell heartache for parents. Who knew? Having recently switched my 1 year old daughter from a chain daycare center to a church preschool, I've learned two important lessons: 1) I'm not the pain in the butt mom I was beginning to think I was; and 2) preschool really can be wonderful - if you find the right one.

At daycare #1, Bailey was passed from one teacher to the next throughout the day. By the time I arrived to pick her up, the current teacher had only been with her for an hour, making details of her day more elusive than disappearing spit-up.

Still playful at the end of the day!

The first several weeks were a battle for information and reassurance. While teachers kept a daily report of meals, bottles, and diaper changes, incomplete forms and missing information constantly left me wondering. My only indication that she was being well cared for was Bailey's attachment to her main teacher and the fact that she was always happy to be there.

Since this was my first and only experience with any daycare center, I began to wonder whether my expectations were unusually high and whether I was, in fact, a pain in the butt mom. (Keep in mind, I really didn't care whether this was the case. In my opinion, every parent has the inherent right to be demanding, unreasonable, and generally terrifying when it comes to the safety and well-being of their child. Period.)

Fast forward a few weeks and we find Bailey thriving at her new preschool. She even reached for her teacher (singular, as in one teacher all day everyday) on the second day. Her teacher tells me all about her day before I even ask - providing information about meals, play time, naps, her general attitude, etc.

Baseball shirt day at preschool!

The only question I find myself wondering is: who loves her preschool more, Bailey or me? Aside from the exceptional care and ridiculously nice playground (even I want to climb the massive tree and serve breakfast in their playhouses), she's surrounded by an amazing staff who all genuinely love her. Monthly calendars with cowboy hat day, pizza luncheons, and Friday water day show me how much effort they apply in ensuring the kids are having fun. As a Christian mom, I also love that my daughter is learning Bible stories, spending time in chapel, and learning the Pledge of Allegiance.

A partial view of the playground.

After the guilt, pain, and heartache of leaving my first-born with strangers, this church preschool is, well, a Godsend. Not only am I confident my child is in loving and capable hands, but seeing how much fun she has and all the new things she's learning really helps to alleviate the working mom guilt so many of us experience.

For moms out there who are struggling with dreaded daycare centers, take heed. Finding the perfect fit for your family can mean a world of difference for your child's growth and your peace of mind. Just keep looking until you find your diaper changing oasis; it's out there.

Heather Von St. James: Mother, Cancer Survivor, and Inspiration

Cancer. To some it's an abstract idea; a hazy disease living in the background of our minds. As long as it's not affecting us, we may not give it much thought. But for others, cancer is more than a disease - more than a word or an idea. Cancer is judge, jury, and executioner and the sentence is bleak.

No one with cancer ever thought, Yeah, that's definitely going to happen to me. It can sneak up on us in a million different ways. Sometimes (most times) it creeps in silently without any warning. This was how it happened to Heather Von St. James. Just three months after giving birth to Lily, a beautiful, healthy baby girl, Heather was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma. The culprit? Asbestos silently clung to her father's work coat when she was a child. A coat she herself wore often and hugged daily. Decades later, the deadly cancer came to claim its prize. What this disease wasn't prepared for was the strength and stubbornness of a new mother.

Photo courtesy of Heather Von St. James

Think back to the weeks and months following your own child's birth. You were probably sore, tired, and overwhelmed. Maybe you were losing weight from breastfeeding. Heather was all of these things, but when she began dropping 5-7 pounds per week, she knew something was wrong. She, like every mom, had just one emotion that topped all others: unyielding love.

Through faith in God and a mother's love, Heather found the strength to keep going everyday. Through tests, traveling, and procedures, she fought. When she had to leave her newborn daughter with her parents to seek treatment, it broke her heart. We all know how quickly that first year flies and how incredibly fast children learn from day to day. Being away from her baby for months at a time was more painful than even the disease. Not knowing whether she would ever hold her again was more than any mother could bear.

Photo courtesy of Heather Von St. James

Her strength and determination paid off when she began treating with David Sugarbaker, M.D. at Boston's Brigham and Women's Hospital. Finally, Heather came out the other side as a cancer survivor. Lily still had a lot of growing to do and this mom wasn't about to miss it.

Photo courtesy of Heather Von St. James

Heather's battle may be over, but she continues the fight against cancer by spreading the word about mesothelioma and offering hope to others. Her life is an inspiration and she has dedicated herself to providing information and resources to those affected.

Please watch this short video to learn more about Heather's story. You can like her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter or check out her website at www.mesothelioma.com/heather.

A Belated Father's Day Tribute

Even though Father’s Day has passed, it’s never too late for a heartfelt tribute to those wonderful fathers who make our lives so much easier.

As moms, and especially as overwhelmed new moms, we sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders (or boobs or hip). It’s easy to get caught up in all the things we’re racing to accomplish before bedtime.

Sometimes we might even feel like we’re the only ones doing anything, especially in the early days when our kids are glued to us. Usually (and hopefully) this isn’t really the case. A good dad can be found hiding in the shadows helping us in ways we may not even realize. They don’t always advertise what they’re doing which is why sometimes we miss it entirely.

Today, and really everyday, we need to take a minute to stop and notice the little things our husbands do for us. When he washes the baby bottles, refills the diaper genie or handles the grocery shopping, he’s doing what he can to lessen the load. When he pays the bills, feeds the baby or does the laundry, he’s silently telling you he loves you.

My husband, for example, does many small things throughout the day that I know about and countless others that I don’t. He doesn’t take credit or gloat or keep score. He works all day in the sun, gets home at 7:00, and cooks dinner the minute he walks in the door. He does these things because he loves his family. He does these things because he’s a good man.

No matter how overwhelmed I may get, I always know he’s in my corner waiting to be tagged in. We aren’t surviving motherhood or fatherhood; we’re discovering parenthood together as a team.

It’s easy to lose sight of these things in the day-to-day rush, but if you can, take the time to thank him for everything he does. He may not ask for the credit, but he will certainly appreciate getting it. And remember to tell him that he’s doing a great job. Just as moms need to hear that we’re not complete failures, so do dads.

So to my husband, Ryan, thank you for everything you do to keep me afloat. Thank you for being such a wonderful husband and for being such an incredible father. Happy (belated) Father’s Day.

Dear Breastfeeding Mom

Dear Breastfeeding Mom:

Wow. You amaze me. There's a special type of dedication required for breastfeeding a newborn. As if housing a tiny stowaway in your womb for nine months and pushing it out like a rocket wasn't enough, you've signed on for another tour of sacrificing your body.

There are certain aspects of breastfeeding that you probably didn't hear about beforehand. The truth is, they may have discouraged you from trying. On the other hand, maybe you read all about them and decided to push forward anyway. In any case, I tip my hat to you.

The first few weeks of nursing were the most difficult as you were both still learning. Maybe your baby had killer instincts and knew exactly what to do. Maybe he needed some help. Maybe she favored the left boob and wouldn't touch the right. Do your local lactation consultants recognize your number? Yeah, you're a dedicated mom.

You probably have a love/hate relationship with your breast pump. I know you feel like a cow constantly being milked. Do your home videos have a soundtrack of that telltale mechanical sucking noise? I hear you.

Nursing in public can be rough. If you do it, you have to deal with judgment, stares, or outright comments from onlookers. If you don't, you may find yourself spending a good bit of time in the backseat of the car while your baby snacks.

If you've gone back to work (or even if you haven't), you may be familiar with fenugreek, nursing tea, and blessed thistle. Maybe you wonder if one of these days you'll turn into a pill from taking so many.

You know better than anyone how much a woman sacrifices to breastfeed her child. Your body. Your time. Your rest. Your independence.

Then again, you understand better than anyone how much you gain from it. Nobody has the same bond with your child that you do. The look in her eyes as she studies your face is precious. She feels safest in your arms. She reaches for you when others hold her. You look at her and see her unconditional love. (Plus, losing that baby weight quickly is a great bonus.)

Whether you breastfed for a week or a year, whether you're still nursing or you've made the switch to formula or milk, you're amazing. It's difficult and requires a lot of work, but the benefits are insurmountable. One look at those big blue eyes or the realization that your child has never been sick reminds you that it's all worth it.

Your child may not thank you now. He may never thank you. But I do. I know what you're going through, what you've been through, and what's on the other side. Don't forget to take the time to recognize your hard work and dedication. You're a wonderful mom. You've done an incredible job so be proud of yourself!

What did you find was the most rewarding part of nursing? What was the most annoying?

Prayers for Corbin

Why would anyone want a child like that? Some babies are born healthy. Some babies are born sick. Whether it's mental or physical, some infants have to work harder than others just to survive.

This question has been posed (sometimes whispered, sometimes not) by some who don't understand why a parent would want to "deal" with a child suffering from one illness or another. They look at life in numbers: the survival rate is low; the medical expenses are high; the life expectancy is short; or the difficult road ahead is long. So why bother?

Because it's your child. Because the moment you hear that heart beat, you promise to love and protect your baby at any cost. Because a parent's love trumps everything.

Photo courtesy of Kara McHenry

A parent whose newborn is clinging to life, hooked up to monitors, and struggling just to breath doesn't see what others might. She isn't weighing the cost of one procedure against the value of her baby's life. He isn't thinking this child will only be a burden to his family. They are parents. They are looking at their tiny miracle and thanking God for such a blessing.

One family in particular comes to mind when I think about this. You may have heard of, or even follow, a popular Facebook family's page, Prayers for corbin. With every post and every picture, I'm amazed at the strength and love shown by Kara and Shane McHenry. Their son, Corbin, was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 (a genetic disorder) and they were told to prepare for a stillbirth. As if they weren't facing enough obstacles, Corbin decided to arrive 8 weeks early... breathing, crying, and shaking his tiny fist at death.

Photo courtesy of Kara McHenry

Everyday has been a struggle and everyday has been a miracle. Kara and Shane chronicle their son's journey through Facebook. They don't let fear overcome. They don't pity themselves. They don't complain about nights spent in the hospital or medical bills. They don't see the limitations others have placed on their child. They just see Corbin - a beautiful little boy who defies the odds every single day. They see their little fighter. They see a blessing who wakes up every morning, makes them smile, and thinks, "Today will be a good day."

Photo courtesy of Kara McHenry

Corbin teaches them patience, love, and humility. He shows them what's truly important in life. He makes them smile and laugh in ways they've never known before.

Photo courtesy of Kara McHenry

This family is an inspiration. Where others might blame God for their hardship, the McHenrys thank Him for every miraculous day they spend with their son.

So why would anyone want a child like that? Because he's their child and he's already perfect.

To learn more about Corbin's journey or to find out how you can help, visit Prayers for corbin or http://www.gofundme.com/2ok1r4.

The First Year: Looking Back

I never thought one year could pass so quickly. It's hard to believe my daughter is already celebrating her first birthday when it still feels like we just brought her home from the hospital. Not only that, but there are still so many things I haven't quite figured out.

I'd like to pause from my usual posts this week to take a look back on Bailey's first year.

Bailey Erin was born on May 21st at 2:21 a.m.

At fours days past my due date, I went into labor the night before my scheduled induction. Four and a half hours after being admitted to the hospital, Bailey Erin arrived - wide-eyed and curious. The feeling of becoming a parent was overwhelming. My stay in the hospital felt surreal. Is she real? Is she really ours? Does she know me? I had loved my little girl for nine months already, but we were just now getting to know each other.

For someone who has always been slightly paranoid when it comes to safety, you can imagine how this has affected me as a parent. My husband and I took shifts sleeping in the hospital (when it was even possible) so there would never be an opportunity for a cat burglar to slink in and steal our baby. Even when she was taken to the nursery for shots and testing, my husband never left her side.

The drive home was an experience. The fifteen minute trek from the hospital took twice as long through back roads and residential streets. With each pebble we drove over I frantically cried, "Careful! Her head is bobbling!"

Looking back now, it's amusing how ridiculous I was about so many things. I remember leaping over furniture in order to reach my rocking chair (and feeding station) when she was hungry. My husband walked in behind me holding a hungry, crying baby and looked at me like I was insane. At that moment, though, nothing was more important than feeding my child.

There have been struggles along the way. Breastfeeding, while completely worth it, presented its own difficulties. Growth spurts took me by surprise; who knew infants had them at two weeks, six weeks, nine weeks, etc.? Luckily, Google and countless moms on message boards helped us out along the way. Our poor kid was riddled with gas pains before we learned milk in my diet was the culprit.

Bailey, overachiever that she is, segued from her first growth spurt to the next. That was a trying month for both mom and boobs. Sleepless nights were (and, sometimes, still are) always rough. It's one thing to get only a few hours of sleep, but it's another to be up at 4 a.m. with a crying baby and no hope for rest.

Aside from the surprises, struggles, and sleep deprivation, there has been more laughter in my home and in my heart over the past year than ever in my life. Considering I'm blessed with a husband who makes me laugh everyday, it's saying something that I laugh even more now that I'm a parent.

This has been the most amazing and rewarding year of my life. My daughter's smiles encourage me to perform the most atrocious dances, but I don't care. When she giggles, my heart swells. When she's soothed by my voice, I feel like a superhero. When she was an infant, I would sing to her to calm her down. I can't describe how incredible it felt to see the way she looked at me as I sang to her.

All of the firsts we've shared together were each special in their own way. Her first smile, the first time she said "Mama", the first wave, when she learned to roll over, sit up, and stand... each has been precious.

I know she's still a baby, but if the first year, with all of its snags and struggles, can fly so quickly, what does that say about each year that gets a bit easier? It's bittersweet to watch her grow up so fast and I need to do everything I can so I don't miss it.

Bailey, you're celebrating your first birthday now, but someday you'll be a mother, too. It's hard, it's scary, and it's incredibly rewarding. Always know that no matter what I do in my life, above all, I will always be proud to be your mother. Happy Birthday.

Happy Mother's Day

Every mom is a superhero. Whether this is your first Mother's Day or your fiftieth, we salute you. You've made more sacrifices than you can count, sometimes put your life and dreams on hold, and you'd do it all over again. You've stayed up until the wee hours with a sick baby and then gone to work (either to an older boss or to a tiny and demanding one) without sleep or complaint. 

Between pregnancy and breastfeeding, you've sacrificed your body more than anyone (besides other moms) could understand. Your boobs may not be what they once were, but your heart has somehow doubled in size.

You've mastered the art of sleeping upright with a baby in your arms and your favorite radio stations have been replaced with Veggie Tales tunes. You've come to enjoy Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Sofia the First and sometimes even look forward to them.

You've chased a bare butt baby around with a diaper in one hand and an unused wipe in the other. You make up ridiculous songs just to make your child smile and perform dance moves worse than those of Seinfeld's Elaine.

Mom, you do so many little things throughout the day that go unnoticed and sometimes we forget to stop and say thanks. Luckily, we have a holiday to remind ourselves that it's important to take a minute and appreciate you.

You're amazing. You're beautiful. You're strong. You're passionate. You would never lift a hand in anger to anyone, but if someone messes with your kid, you turn into the Incredible Hulk. 

We admire you. We strive to be like you. We love you. Thank you for being there always and for loving us so unconditionally.

Please remember to say thank you to all of the wonderful moms in your lives; not just today, but always. Happy Mother's Day.

Origami Owl: Great for Mother's Day or Everyday

With Mother’s Day less than a week away, there’s undoubtedly a frantic husband or two rushing to find the perfect gift. Jewelry is always a mainstay, but it can get pricey. What’s a procrastinating dad (or indulgent mom) to do? Here’s the answer: Origami Owl.

Photo by Team Kitty Gibson

No, I’m not talking about cutely folded paper owls. Origami Owl is a less expensive, but equally beautiful, competitor to some better known create-your-own forms of jewelry. How does it work? Start by visiting the website here. Begin by selecting a chain - with prices ranging from $10.00 to $22.00, I’d say we’re already off to a pretty good start. Next, decide whether you want to create a Living Locket or whether you’d rather get Tagged.

Getting Tagged is easy enough. Create a simple and stylish necklace with dangles and/or tags which attach directly to the chain.

Photo by Origami Owl

Living Lockets take a bit more figuring out, but are just as simple to put together. It’s an adorable way to collect all the things you already keep in your heart and keep them in, well, a necklace above your heart. How clever. The size and style of locket is up to you, but the $20.00 - $40.00 options ensure this will be the most expensive piece you buy (not bad compared to some of the Owl’s contemporaries). The accent pieces include charms, dangles, tags, and plates – with plenty of options for each.

So let’s say you pick the locket and chain and grab a couple of charms. Maybe you created a special piece to celebrate Mother’s Day. You’ve picked your charms: Girl Baby Feet; Mom Heart in Silver; and the Silver Rose Charm. You even went the distance and snagged a Rosegold Love plate. You now have a beautiful locket to celebrate motherhood. But what about next month when you’re gearing up for a Moms' Night Out? While you’re still proud to be a mama, you’re also excited to be a woman – outside of snotty noses and dirty diapers. Sure, you want to wear that great locket you got, but maybe it doesn’t quite go with your outfit or your mindset. No problem.

Luckily, you had the foresight to collect some additional charms over the past month. Since charms only cost $5.00 per piece, you’ve found a new way to create a different accessory to match any outfit (or mood). Open your locket, remove the charms, and pop out the plate. You can now replace them with a Red Shoe, Lipstick, and Microphone. You’re ready for karaoke with the girls. (For some great examples of completed lockets, check out these designs.)

The great thing about the Living Lockets and Tagged necklaces is that they’re fully customizable. The assortment of charms, tags, dangles, and plates presents the opportunity to create entirely different necklaces every time. And at only $5.00 for each charm, there’s no limit to what you can do (guilt-free!). Use your imagination: create lockets based on hobbies, causes, occupations - even your favorite books and TV shows!

Photo by Lisa Lieberman

Buying from Origami Owl is also a great way to support local moms. Many of its independent designers, like Kitty Gibson, are local mothers doing what they can to stay home and raise their kids. Why not buy yourself a beautifully personalized necklace while helping a local mama in the process? For more information, check out Kitty’s Origami Owl website at http://kittygibson.origamiowl.com. For great ideas on creating your own, and for information on hosting a party, be sure to like her Facebook page.

Overstuffing the Diaper Bag

Diapers. Wipes. Bottle. What more could you need in a diaper bag? If you’re a new mom, the answer is simple: more diapers, extra pacifiers, a change of clothes, a second change of clothes, hand sanitizer, snacks, toys, burp cloths, gas drops, extra bottles, a thermometer… This doesn’t come close to listing everything you’ve got wedged in there. Let’s face it; if the zipper gets halfway across and gives up, you’ve overstuffed your diaper bag.

In the early (and maybe not so early) days, it’s hard to know what items are essential. Sure, you’re only going to the park for a couple of hours, but a lot can happen in 120 minutes. You need to bring three bottles, some snacks, and a jar of baby food “just in case”, right? You never know; all that playing on the swing set might throw your child into a hulk-like feeding frenzy and the fifteen minute drive home just won’t do. Likewise, those five toys (and three books) are necessary for the car ride – your sweetie needs her options so she doesn’t get bored.

We’ve all done this. It’s easy to keep cramming more and more items in that tote “just in case”. But keep this in mind: if the diaper bag weighs more than your kid, you’ve gone overboard.

It’s not your fault. Baby product manufacturers love to mess with our heads. Why else would no one have an all-in-one wipe? Do we really need separate wipes for everything? There’s a wipe for diaper changes, a hand and face wipe, a boogie wipe, a pacifier wipe... Granted, I’d prefer the wipe that cleans my baby’s butt to be separate from the one that sanitizes her pacifier, but what about the rest? If based on cleaning pads alone, a diaper bag can easily bulge in minutes.

While it’s true that you just never know what could happen while you’re out, it’s probably a safe bet that you’d survive if caught in a lost sock emergency. Pack an extra set of clothes, but leave the back-up spare at home.

Even though Mary Poppins and her own magical purse would be proud, you might consider emptying some of those unnecessary items or even switching to a smaller bag. Your back will thank you in the long run. However you decide to pack your sack, here are some items that you’ll want to keep:

·        Diapers

·        Wipes

·        Changing pad

·        Hand sanitizer

·        Bottle

·        Snacks

·        Burp Cloth

·        Gas Drops (essential when they’re still itty bitty)

What have you learned over time? Which items did you find you could ditch and which ones were the must-haves?

Dreading Daycare

It's the word many new moms dread: "daycare". With the exception of medical issues, the first week of childcare is possibly the most frightening, worrisome, and painful time in a new mom's life. With the ever increasing necessity for two working parents, gone are the days when stay-at-home moms were the majority.

For some women, heading back to work is a choice. For others, it's a harsh reality. For those who wish nothing more than the opportunity to stay home and care for their children, the idea of handing over their newest addition to someone else is just plain terrifying.

After ten difficult but happy months of bringing my daughter to work with me, her newfound mobility and ever increasing need for attention have brought us to the next (and, for me, depressing) phase of her short life: childcare. Keep in mind that while I'm sure there are many childcare facilities that are absolutely wonderful, great for kids, etc., the fact remains: I just don't want to hand her over to someone else. Period.

Leaving your child behind may feel
like sentencing her to hard time.

What's a mom to do? How do you handle that heart-breaking moment when your baby reaches for you with tears in her eyes and all you can do is fight back your own and wave bye-bye?

You're flooded with questions, worries, and guilt. Why did she have to cry? Why didn't she cry? Will I make it out of the building before the tears hit? Why isn't my commute from daycare to the office longer? Is she safe? Are they playing with her enough? Is she getting enough to eat? Are they changing her enough? Am I a terrible mom for leaving her? What if she feels abandoned?

While some kids have a harder time adjusting than others, I have to believe that the daycare drop-off is more painful for the mom. They might cry for a few minutes before a new toy or curious tot attracts their attention, but it's the guilt-ridden mama who's weeping into her arm in the office bathroom.

If you're like me, being a stay-at-home mom is the ultimate goal, but it can feel simultaneously like the only natural choice and a pipe dream. Being a reluctantly working mom is not only hard because you're away from your child all day, but also because you're constantly reminded that you just can't be where you want. In that regard, it's sometimes the "why" guilt that hits the hardest.

Why did I push to buy a house? Why didn't we just stay in an apartment? Why did I get that more expensive car? Why didn't we plan for this? Why did I make that big purchase? Why didn't we put ourselves in a better financial position?

So what are the answers? How do you cope with the heartache? I could tell you to remember that the social interaction is healthy for your child. I could remind you that you're still number one in those big blue eyes. I could tell you to go easy on yourself - if there was any other choice you would have made it.

I could offer up some helpful advice, but the truth is I'm wading through that frightening first week. We'll just have to wait until I make it to the other side before I can share what I've learned (and what has actually helped). Either that, or I'll write to say that Publishers Clearing House has finally found me and I've snatched up my little girl faster than you can sneeze. Stay tuned for the ending.

What about you? How did you cope with leaving your child for the first time?

Baby Dress-Up: Favorite Pastime of Adults

As a new parent, you may find yourself beginning more sentences with, "There's nothing cuter than..." This is generally true for the moment - until your child does the next ridiculously adorable thing. That's okay; hop on that train and enjoy the ride to Cutesy Town. Junior just did something so sweet that you almost want to puke with pride? No problem; upchuck away and blame it on motion sickness.

Few things in life will ever bring as sincere an "Aw" response as the antics of babies and kids. Skeptical? Just look at footie pajamas, overalls in size 3 months, and baby hoodies. Still not buying it? Try to resist the impractical but oh-so-sweet addition to any infant's pants: the tiny pocket. Operational? Yes. Stylish? Absolutely. Necessary? Of course not. So that tiny towhead doesn't need somewhere to store her leftover cheese puffs (after all, isn't that what cheeks are for?); that doesn't mean we can't bask in its unnecessary glow.

The truth is, babies would be perfectly happy rolling around in nothing but a gummy smile. Baby clothes are purely for the entertainment of adults. No newborn cares whether her socks match her onesie or whether that flower in her hat is the right shade of purple. Likewise, a five-month-old isn't impressed with the drawn on tie on his shirt or the fact that his feet are snuggled inside a pair of Converse.

While most aspects of child rearing are constantly changing (mainly advice and regulations which flip flop more than a pair of Florida sandals), fashionable clothes are now an ever present staple. From pregnancy through parenthood, you can always count on finding snazzy outfits for your tot. Whether it's a blue onesie to celebrate that special "It's a Boy!" moment or a pair of dainty socks as a pick me up, it's certainly a less expensive alternative to wine. Plus, the fuzzy headache usually only accompanies overindulgence of the pocketbook.

On the flip side, and as an added bonus, you, as dear old Mom and Dad, have the right to take as many embarrassing pictures of those not so flattering outfits as you like. Whether you save them for a rainy day or a rebellious teen, they'll surely come in handy. Who said playing dress-up never served a purpose?

Infants and Parolees: Not So Different, After All

During their first year of life, babies are a lot like newly released prison inmates. After spending nine months in isolation, they need some time to adjust to life on the outside. And like their criminal counterparts, they've used their time getting fit.

Amniotic aerobics must really work those core muscles, because all babies are blessed with superhuman strength. Sure, it tapers off as they get older, but once the shock of birth has worn off, for a short time, they remember their training on the inside.

Some infants are boxers. Those tiny jabs to the kidneys during the third trimester suddenly make sense. With no room for an actual punching bag, your kid is nothing if not resourceful. Now free to roam the carpeted and baby-proofed world, you can't figure out why he insists on punching you in the gut when you go in for a hug.

Others prefer kickboxing. Your bladder knew which type of parolee you'd have long before she was born. Your boobs had an inkling as they withstood blow after blow of roundhouse kicks during nursing. Even your husband couldn't help but notice the bruises developing during "play time".

Luckily, your bruised and battered body has enough wear left to survive. The really interesting part is watching your sweetie harness and embrace his developing powers. Witnessing a rubber ducky as it's hurled through space and time warrants more than a "What an arm" remark.

Likewise, when your little angel realizes she can single-footedly prevent you from attaching the tray to her high chair, it's a proud day. With so much leg strength, your measly arms just don't measure up to the one-two combination of kicks knocking that tray off the tracks.

So the question is, how do you suffer injury and delay of meals with a straight face? How do you find that medium between keeping your sense of humor while showing your baby who's boss? After all, you don't want to risk becoming the "bad parent" so many people have warned you about. The answer? Here it is. Wait for it. Oh, it's coming.

All new parents are asking that same question. Seasoned parents will be happy to tell you as soon as they get the kids to bed, wash the dishes, fold the laundry... what was the question again?

The truth is, there is no magical medium. Sometimes all you can do is close your eyes and count to ten. It's just a perk that trying to stifle your laughter looks remarkably like controlling your temper. (The kids don't need to know that secret until they have children of their own.) Besides, you have his entire childhood to raise him properly, while her super strength will only last a little while.

BabyBjorn Baby Carrier Original Review

BabyBjorn Baby Carrier Original

What parent doesn't want a hands-free way to tote their tot? The BabyBjorn Baby Carrier Original is a great world- and mom-facing carrier designed to assist in hefting your new bundle around, while also leaving your arms available for those push ups you're trying to cram in. It also provides support for bobble-headed newborns who still lack the neck strength to hold their noggins on their own.


Photo by babybjorn.com

For brand new babies, it's designed for cradling against mommy's chest in an effort to promote bonding. Older tykes enjoy a broader perspective when turned outward in full view of the world. While the mom-facing design is theoretically great for eye contact and closeness, my daughter wasn't a fan of being forced to gaze at my mug. I couldn't coax her into hanging out in this carrier so long as I was the view.

Photo by babybjorn.com

For other moms who might experience this snag, don't give up. Once she was old enough to hold her head up, she absolutely loved seeing the world from the arms-waving-feet-dangling perspective offered by the Baby Bjorn.

It's easy to use and the adjustable straps grow with your child. The price can range between $60-$80 and it makes a great registry item. Even though I wasn't able to use it for the first several months, I'd recommend it as an example of delayed gratification.

Leachco Snoogle Total Body Pillow Review

There comes a time in every pregnancy when a woman realizes she just can't get comfortable in bed. That ever-growing belly makes it difficult to find a position where falling asleep is possible. Back? Doctor says that's a no-go. Side? Not with the new pressure from a tiny stowaway. Stomach? Not unless you want to squish your hitchhiker. What's an exhausted girl to do? Get used to it! Just kidding.

Copyright Leachco

For me, my answer came in the form of a large 'C' shaped body pillow called the Leachco Snoogle Total Body Pillow. After trying regular pillows and makeshift sleep wedges formed from cut up Tempur-Pedic material, I finally gave in and decided to spend a little cash. My sister had recommended this noodle-like cushion and I figured she, as an experienced mom, would know best.

Copyright Leachco

Oh, Snoogle; I applaud you. This versatile cloud worked wonders for my sheep counting. Total Body Pillow, indeed - stretched out, it's longer than I am. Used against my back, it usually did a good job of preventing me from rolling over. Likewise, it comfortably alleviated the pressure on my belly when I snuggled up from behind. The 'C' shaped top is meant to be used as a head cushion, but I'm fond of my regular, fluffy pillows from the neck up. 


Personally, I found it a bit uncomfortable used that way, but discovered if I turned the top portion away from me while I slept, it was perfect. Whether my husband appreciated a worm-like poke in the face while he slept is up for debate (he says not so much, but I say I grew a person inside me... rock beats scissors).

Copyright Leachco

Another fun thing about the Snoogle is that it can be used for more than just sleeping. Easily twisted, it also makes for a comfortable back support when wrapped around you during the latest episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" (and it doesn't hinder you from throwing french fries at the TV when a 115 lb woman has a nearly painless delivery on the bathroom floor of a convenience store).

Copyright Leachco

The Snoogle can also be used as a nursing pillow once the baby arrives, although I never tried that function. I had a Boppy Nursing Pillow and my Snoogle was immediately retired to the garage to make room for my husband in bed. He was glad to be back after nine months of wondering whether I was actually on the other side.


All in all, I was impressed and satisfied with this pillow. It was a bit pricey when I bought it (around $70 if I'm not mistaken), but I'd say it was well worth it. My latest Google search showed it on sale from Amazon for just under $50. I would recommend this pillow to any expectant mom in need of a good night's sleep.



Dear Expectant Mom

Dear Expectant Mom: 

You're beautiful. You're not fat; you're making room for one more. You're tired, achy, and irritable because you have a tiny person kicking you all day. On the other hand, you have a tiny person kicking you all day. You pee every ten minutes and you can't climb off the couch without help. Even though you've never slept on your belly or back, those are suddenly the only positions that seem comfortable; and, of course, you can't do that (can you say, "Don't push the red button"?). It sometimes takes an hour before you fall asleep and when you do, you have dreams of dropping the baby. You worry about money and whether you'll be a good enough mom and whether you're gaining too much/not enough weight. Strangers want to rub your stomach and that's the last thing you want to think about since you can't keep any food in it. You have to sleep in a sports bra and you can't even remember the last time you wore cute underwear. Breathe.

You're amazing. What you're doing is remarkable. You're sacrificing so much already for the sake of someone you haven't even seen. Pregnancy isn't just a phase you have to pass through before having a child. It's an involved route on your journey into parenthood. Pregnancy prepares you for the sacrifices, inconveniences, and difficult times ahead. But it also readies you for the wonderful changes that are coming. You don't expect motherhood to be easy, so how could carrying a child be any different?

You're deserving of all good things. You're having nightmares of being an inadequate parent because you care so much about being enough for your child. Good enough. Patient enough. Smart enough. Strong enough. You will be. Motherhood has a learning curve; don't worry. Every mother who ever came before you had the same fears and anxieties. You're doing a great job as a mom already - you're taking your vitamins; you're talking to your baby (even if others think you're crazy); and you're loving your unborn child.

You're strong. Waddling around all day isn't easy. Your hormones are racing in every direction and your husband is afraid to stand too close sometimes. That's okay. He knows you're strong, too (that's why he's hiding the frying pans and baseball bats for the next nine months).

You're going to be a great mom. It's okay to plop down on the couch because you're tired. It's okay to cry because that Chevy commercial was so touching. It's okay to scream into your pillow because you're feeling overwhelmed. It's okay to eat mac 'n cheese every night for a month because it's the only thing that doesn't make you puke. It's okay. Whatever you have to do to cope with stress/worries/fears is okay. 

You're beautiful, amazing, deserving, and strong. Your baby may not be here just yet, but you are already a great mom. And that little stowaway already loves you more than you know.

She Did Just Spit Up, Right?

Babies are a lot like magicians. They begin honing their skills in the hospital with those first attempts at breaking free of the swaddle. Once home, they grow and evolve until even the Velcro blankets (specifically designed to thwart the efforts of tiny escapees) can no longer contain them. It's amazing the first time you see that tiny foot shoot through a hole that wasn't there a minute ago.

Another fun newborn trick is projectile vomiting. For any first-time parent, the sight of that milky gush is terrifying. It's so much. But when she fires a line-drive to Uncle Al from across the room and immediately giggles, she's letting you know not to worry. (Still, it's always best to mention it to the pediatrician just to be safe.)

Her heat-seeking missiles and an impressive ability to wriggle free of a burrito hold are just the beginning. As she gets older, the real trick - the one that keeps you scratching your head long into the night - is the disappearing spit up.

I'm not talking about the ever so graceful slurp of the dangling loogie. I'm talking about the ooze that spews from her mouth and miraculously disappears within seconds. Sure, you found some of it; after all, it landed in your hand (great catch, by the way). You may have even spotted a drop of leftover dribble on her chin, but there are at least two ounces missing. Gone. Vanished.

My theory? I'm convinced babies find worm holes in which to dispose of pesky upchuck. Maybe they use those passageways to another dimension to help us out. Perhaps they see us cleaning up after them all day and think, "Hey. I've got this, Mom." Maybe they do it just to be funny - fodder for the sandbox.

Whatever the reason, the fact remains: she spit up in the kitchen and you found a tiny pool in the living room. You wiped her mouth and searched the area, but none of it landed on her. So how did it pool underneath your butt? You weren't even holding her. Are the alternate universe babies rejecting it? Or maybe they're communicating through a sophisticated code of regurgitated carrots. Did it really just disappear into the abyss of the couch? Or is it traveling through time only to meet you at your ninetieth birthday party?

Regardless of how or why it disappears, only your baby knows the secret. All you can do is wipe up the puddles that surface and wear a catcher's mitt to your next few birthday bashes.

Rolling with the Punches

I wonder if there's a form of martial arts that can be converted into diaper changing defense. I'm thinking the Karate Kid crane technique combined with Tibetan monk meditation. For the first few months, any rookie can change a diaper. Fast, slow - it doesn't really matter. The baby basically just stays where you plop her.  One thing I've learned as a new mom, however, is that the art of diaper duty is constantly changing. Just when you think you're about to break your record, she discovers rolling.

Watching a baby learn and explore is amazing. When she starts rolling from point A to point how-the-heck-did-you-get-over-there, it quickly evolves into a new lifestyle for you both. Now that she's becoming mobile and learning how to move independently, those skills don't stop at the floor.

What was once a pesky interruption transforms into a game of one-on-one. It's bad enough when your little wiggler twists and turns all over the changing table as you play whack-a-mole with the baby wipe. It's another thing entirely when all you have is the floor and some good intentions.

No rails quickly translates into free reign for your twisty little mover. Your ankle hold suddenly lacks conviction. Oh, sure; it's funny until she flips onto her belly and makes a break for it - before the new diaper is in place. Now you're dealing with: 1) catching a crafty little scooter before she finds a dead bug; and 2) thwarting your escapee before she sprinkles the floor in her birthday suit.

My advice: get fast - quick. Use a toy or a clean diaper to distract her (don't get too comfortable - you may need to switch out a different object several times a day). Play with her so that you become more interesting than the box of wipes behind her head (and don't feel bad when you're not more interesting than the box). Blowing on her tummy and singing songs can go a long way to keeping her belly up. And for those messier diapers... well, hold your breath and pray.