Here's My Baby Bump! Where's My Wallet?

Who knew pregnancy was so costly? Sure, we've all heard it before: "Kids are expensive." We know that. What we didn't know was how much cash it takes preparing for, and finally entering, pregnancy. Apparently, those adorably sticky fingers start pick-pocketing in utero. No matter how many books I read, I didn't expect that.

If yours is a planned pregnancy, get ready to drop some cash. And depending how long it takes the stork to meander to your door, you might just fork out enough cash to pay the salaries of a few EPT executives.

That's right - the pregnancy test. Who knew you could actually master the art of peeing on a plastic stick? I believe the saying goes, "She who never dribbled on her hand has earned the right to proudly stand." Okay, so maybe it's not a widely known saying, but it doesn't make it any less true. I'll bet you didn't expect those pretty, pink predictors to take such a big chunk of your earnings. A box or two might not phase you; after all, only $10 gets you a two-pack. Feeling fancy? Go ahead and splurge on the digital ones. They'll only run you another five bucks. But when that second, third, and fourth month roll around, you'll start to feel your debit card receding into places unknown. Especially when you just know you're going to get that second line this month.

Ovulation predictor kits are another staple of the Fingers Crossed Society. Ranging from an average of $15 for seven to nearly $50 for a one month supply, you'll almost expect them to throw the baby in with the sticks.

It's happened! You got the plus sign or the smiley face (aren't you sophisticated?). Congratulations! Now that you're finished with the pre-pregnancy add-ons, that pittance of a salary might begin to climb again, right? Ha. Welcome to the exciting world of the expanding gut. Now that you can toss out the soggy sticks, along with the stop watch, it's time to add pre-natal vitamins (if you haven't already) and maternity clothes to your budget. Big deal; a few pairs of stretchy pants and some big t-shirts. Well, that's not all. 

Get ready to hit intimate apparel in a whole new way. Gone (for now, anyway) are the days of frolicking in Victoria's Secret to find that sexy, lace number or the newest, heavenly push-up. Instead you'll be running to the nearest Target for some cotton grannies. You may fight it at first, but your increased appetite isn't limited to your stomach. That ever growing derriere will quickly have you turning pro in the world of Ultimate Wedgie. Don't forget the twins 6 inches below your chin. They'll double in size and scream for a more comfortable bra.

It's no surprise daycare will consume a large portion of what's left of your paycheck. What may surprise you is the price of adding your first kid to your health insurance plan. Premiums ranging from $400 to $600 per month for a healthy newborn seem pretty standard, if jaw-dropping. On the other hand, learning that mere weeks before your due date is a great way to induce labor.

While it's true your wallet will shrink as quickly as your belly will swell, there will be some pretty invaluable perks along the way. Ice cream for dinner and your boss hijacking garbage duties are great, but it's that first flutter that really hits you. Despite the multitude of unexpected and pricey odds and ends, the first time you hear your baby's heartbeat is absolutely priceless.