Hey, Mom. I See You Dancing in Your Car.

There are few no-judgment zones in this world. I like to think the inside of my car is one of them. I'm sure I'm wrong and, in fact, can only imagine the number of drivers who constantly judge my front seat off-key karaoke concerts. But the great thing about believing the inside of my car is a no-judgment zone is that I don't care that I'm wrong.

Who wouldn't play the fool just to see this little grin?

I think it's important that all moms feel this way and, really, at least a good percentage of them must. Otherwise, I would be the only parent putting my right arm in and shaking it all about in my seat. I've seen you do this, too. Red lights are everywhere. (Although if you're doing this when your kids aren't in the car, we may need to have a separate talk about that.)

Flailing my hands around and wiggling my butt mid-commute carries its own perks. Am I waving at the driver in front of me? Watching him try to figure it out is always fun. Unfortunately, he doesn't see his sedan as the no-holds-barred safety zone that I do. That's why his arm raises slightly in a daring attempt to return the wave and then drops suddenly as gumption fades into uncertainty. After all, if I'm not waving at him, he doesn't want to look like a fool. No, no, driver. We wouldn't want that.

It occurs to me that the writers of many classic kids' songs had more than childish entertainment in mind when creating accompanying gestures. If not for the potential for parental foolhardiness, why else would there be so much clapping, stomping, and barking? Luckily, I don't shy away from a little embarrassment.

That's odd. It seems none of my potentially embarrassing photos will load properly. Oh, well.

The point is (yes, I was eventually making my way to a point), most parents will do just about anything to get a giggle out of their child. If it means I have to march in place (challenging while driving) so my daughter can see "Father Abraham" come to life, so be it. Every time my hand smacks the window during "Deep and Wide" I'm reminded that nothing is more rewarding than that tiny laugh from the backseat. Besides, there's no substitute for the pride I feel each time Bailey does the hand motions for "The Wheels on the Bus". Just be sure you're practicing safe driving during all live performances.

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Daycare Do-Over

Daycare, apparently, doesn't always spell heartache for parents. Who knew? Having recently switched my 1 year old daughter from a chain daycare center to a church preschool, I've learned two important lessons: 1) I'm not the pain in the butt mom I was beginning to think I was; and 2) preschool really can be wonderful - if you find the right one.

At daycare #1, Bailey was passed from one teacher to the next throughout the day. By the time I arrived to pick her up, the current teacher had only been with her for an hour, making details of her day more elusive than disappearing spit-up.

Still playful at the end of the day!

The first several weeks were a battle for information and reassurance. While teachers kept a daily report of meals, bottles, and diaper changes, incomplete forms and missing information constantly left me wondering. My only indication that she was being well cared for was Bailey's attachment to her main teacher and the fact that she was always happy to be there.

Since this was my first and only experience with any daycare center, I began to wonder whether my expectations were unusually high and whether I was, in fact, a pain in the butt mom. (Keep in mind, I really didn't care whether this was the case. In my opinion, every parent has the inherent right to be demanding, unreasonable, and generally terrifying when it comes to the safety and well-being of their child. Period.)

Fast forward a few weeks and we find Bailey thriving at her new preschool. She even reached for her teacher (singular, as in one teacher all day everyday) on the second day. Her teacher tells me all about her day before I even ask - providing information about meals, play time, naps, her general attitude, etc.

Baseball shirt day at preschool!

The only question I find myself wondering is: who loves her preschool more, Bailey or me? Aside from the exceptional care and ridiculously nice playground (even I want to climb the massive tree and serve breakfast in their playhouses), she's surrounded by an amazing staff who all genuinely love her. Monthly calendars with cowboy hat day, pizza luncheons, and Friday water day show me how much effort they apply in ensuring the kids are having fun. As a Christian mom, I also love that my daughter is learning Bible stories, spending time in chapel, and learning the Pledge of Allegiance.

A partial view of the playground.

After the guilt, pain, and heartache of leaving my first-born with strangers, this church preschool is, well, a Godsend. Not only am I confident my child is in loving and capable hands, but seeing how much fun she has and all the new things she's learning really helps to alleviate the working mom guilt so many of us experience.

For moms out there who are struggling with dreaded daycare centers, take heed. Finding the perfect fit for your family can mean a world of difference for your child's growth and your peace of mind. Just keep looking until you find your diaper changing oasis; it's out there.

A Belated Father's Day Tribute

Even though Father’s Day has passed, it’s never too late for a heartfelt tribute to those wonderful fathers who make our lives so much easier.

As moms, and especially as overwhelmed new moms, we sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders (or boobs or hip). It’s easy to get caught up in all the things we’re racing to accomplish before bedtime.

Sometimes we might even feel like we’re the only ones doing anything, especially in the early days when our kids are glued to us. Usually (and hopefully) this isn’t really the case. A good dad can be found hiding in the shadows helping us in ways we may not even realize. They don’t always advertise what they’re doing which is why sometimes we miss it entirely.

Today, and really everyday, we need to take a minute to stop and notice the little things our husbands do for us. When he washes the baby bottles, refills the diaper genie or handles the grocery shopping, he’s doing what he can to lessen the load. When he pays the bills, feeds the baby or does the laundry, he’s silently telling you he loves you.

My husband, for example, does many small things throughout the day that I know about and countless others that I don’t. He doesn’t take credit or gloat or keep score. He works all day in the sun, gets home at 7:00, and cooks dinner the minute he walks in the door. He does these things because he loves his family. He does these things because he’s a good man.

No matter how overwhelmed I may get, I always know he’s in my corner waiting to be tagged in. We aren’t surviving motherhood or fatherhood; we’re discovering parenthood together as a team.

It’s easy to lose sight of these things in the day-to-day rush, but if you can, take the time to thank him for everything he does. He may not ask for the credit, but he will certainly appreciate getting it. And remember to tell him that he’s doing a great job. Just as moms need to hear that we’re not complete failures, so do dads.

So to my husband, Ryan, thank you for everything you do to keep me afloat. Thank you for being such a wonderful husband and for being such an incredible father. Happy (belated) Father’s Day.

Dear Breastfeeding Mom

Dear Breastfeeding Mom:

Wow. You amaze me. There's a special type of dedication required for breastfeeding a newborn. As if housing a tiny stowaway in your womb for nine months and pushing it out like a rocket wasn't enough, you've signed on for another tour of sacrificing your body.

There are certain aspects of breastfeeding that you probably didn't hear about beforehand. The truth is, they may have discouraged you from trying. On the other hand, maybe you read all about them and decided to push forward anyway. In any case, I tip my hat to you.

The first few weeks of nursing were the most difficult as you were both still learning. Maybe your baby had killer instincts and knew exactly what to do. Maybe he needed some help. Maybe she favored the left boob and wouldn't touch the right. Do your local lactation consultants recognize your number? Yeah, you're a dedicated mom.

You probably have a love/hate relationship with your breast pump. I know you feel like a cow constantly being milked. Do your home videos have a soundtrack of that telltale mechanical sucking noise? I hear you.

Nursing in public can be rough. If you do it, you have to deal with judgment, stares, or outright comments from onlookers. If you don't, you may find yourself spending a good bit of time in the backseat of the car while your baby snacks.

If you've gone back to work (or even if you haven't), you may be familiar with fenugreek, nursing tea, and blessed thistle. Maybe you wonder if one of these days you'll turn into a pill from taking so many.

You know better than anyone how much a woman sacrifices to breastfeed her child. Your body. Your time. Your rest. Your independence.

Then again, you understand better than anyone how much you gain from it. Nobody has the same bond with your child that you do. The look in her eyes as she studies your face is precious. She feels safest in your arms. She reaches for you when others hold her. You look at her and see her unconditional love. (Plus, losing that baby weight quickly is a great bonus.)

Whether you breastfed for a week or a year, whether you're still nursing or you've made the switch to formula or milk, you're amazing. It's difficult and requires a lot of work, but the benefits are insurmountable. One look at those big blue eyes or the realization that your child has never been sick reminds you that it's all worth it.

Your child may not thank you now. He may never thank you. But I do. I know what you're going through, what you've been through, and what's on the other side. Don't forget to take the time to recognize your hard work and dedication. You're a wonderful mom. You've done an incredible job so be proud of yourself!

What did you find was the most rewarding part of nursing? What was the most annoying?

Overstuffing the Diaper Bag

Diapers. Wipes. Bottle. What more could you need in a diaper bag? If you’re a new mom, the answer is simple: more diapers, extra pacifiers, a change of clothes, a second change of clothes, hand sanitizer, snacks, toys, burp cloths, gas drops, extra bottles, a thermometer… This doesn’t come close to listing everything you’ve got wedged in there. Let’s face it; if the zipper gets halfway across and gives up, you’ve overstuffed your diaper bag.

In the early (and maybe not so early) days, it’s hard to know what items are essential. Sure, you’re only going to the park for a couple of hours, but a lot can happen in 120 minutes. You need to bring three bottles, some snacks, and a jar of baby food “just in case”, right? You never know; all that playing on the swing set might throw your child into a hulk-like feeding frenzy and the fifteen minute drive home just won’t do. Likewise, those five toys (and three books) are necessary for the car ride – your sweetie needs her options so she doesn’t get bored.

We’ve all done this. It’s easy to keep cramming more and more items in that tote “just in case”. But keep this in mind: if the diaper bag weighs more than your kid, you’ve gone overboard.

It’s not your fault. Baby product manufacturers love to mess with our heads. Why else would no one have an all-in-one wipe? Do we really need separate wipes for everything? There’s a wipe for diaper changes, a hand and face wipe, a boogie wipe, a pacifier wipe... Granted, I’d prefer the wipe that cleans my baby’s butt to be separate from the one that sanitizes her pacifier, but what about the rest? If based on cleaning pads alone, a diaper bag can easily bulge in minutes.

While it’s true that you just never know what could happen while you’re out, it’s probably a safe bet that you’d survive if caught in a lost sock emergency. Pack an extra set of clothes, but leave the back-up spare at home.

Even though Mary Poppins and her own magical purse would be proud, you might consider emptying some of those unnecessary items or even switching to a smaller bag. Your back will thank you in the long run. However you decide to pack your sack, here are some items that you’ll want to keep:

·        Diapers

·        Wipes

·        Changing pad

·        Hand sanitizer

·        Bottle

·        Snacks

·        Burp Cloth

·        Gas Drops (essential when they’re still itty bitty)

What have you learned over time? Which items did you find you could ditch and which ones were the must-haves?

Baby Dress-Up: Favorite Pastime of Adults

As a new parent, you may find yourself beginning more sentences with, "There's nothing cuter than..." This is generally true for the moment - until your child does the next ridiculously adorable thing. That's okay; hop on that train and enjoy the ride to Cutesy Town. Junior just did something so sweet that you almost want to puke with pride? No problem; upchuck away and blame it on motion sickness.

Few things in life will ever bring as sincere an "Aw" response as the antics of babies and kids. Skeptical? Just look at footie pajamas, overalls in size 3 months, and baby hoodies. Still not buying it? Try to resist the impractical but oh-so-sweet addition to any infant's pants: the tiny pocket. Operational? Yes. Stylish? Absolutely. Necessary? Of course not. So that tiny towhead doesn't need somewhere to store her leftover cheese puffs (after all, isn't that what cheeks are for?); that doesn't mean we can't bask in its unnecessary glow.

The truth is, babies would be perfectly happy rolling around in nothing but a gummy smile. Baby clothes are purely for the entertainment of adults. No newborn cares whether her socks match her onesie or whether that flower in her hat is the right shade of purple. Likewise, a five-month-old isn't impressed with the drawn on tie on his shirt or the fact that his feet are snuggled inside a pair of Converse.

While most aspects of child rearing are constantly changing (mainly advice and regulations which flip flop more than a pair of Florida sandals), fashionable clothes are now an ever present staple. From pregnancy through parenthood, you can always count on finding snazzy outfits for your tot. Whether it's a blue onesie to celebrate that special "It's a Boy!" moment or a pair of dainty socks as a pick me up, it's certainly a less expensive alternative to wine. Plus, the fuzzy headache usually only accompanies overindulgence of the pocketbook.

On the flip side, and as an added bonus, you, as dear old Mom and Dad, have the right to take as many embarrassing pictures of those not so flattering outfits as you like. Whether you save them for a rainy day or a rebellious teen, they'll surely come in handy. Who said playing dress-up never served a purpose?

Infants and Parolees: Not So Different, After All

During their first year of life, babies are a lot like newly released prison inmates. After spending nine months in isolation, they need some time to adjust to life on the outside. And like their criminal counterparts, they've used their time getting fit.

Amniotic aerobics must really work those core muscles, because all babies are blessed with superhuman strength. Sure, it tapers off as they get older, but once the shock of birth has worn off, for a short time, they remember their training on the inside.

Some infants are boxers. Those tiny jabs to the kidneys during the third trimester suddenly make sense. With no room for an actual punching bag, your kid is nothing if not resourceful. Now free to roam the carpeted and baby-proofed world, you can't figure out why he insists on punching you in the gut when you go in for a hug.

Others prefer kickboxing. Your bladder knew which type of parolee you'd have long before she was born. Your boobs had an inkling as they withstood blow after blow of roundhouse kicks during nursing. Even your husband couldn't help but notice the bruises developing during "play time".

Luckily, your bruised and battered body has enough wear left to survive. The really interesting part is watching your sweetie harness and embrace his developing powers. Witnessing a rubber ducky as it's hurled through space and time warrants more than a "What an arm" remark.

Likewise, when your little angel realizes she can single-footedly prevent you from attaching the tray to her high chair, it's a proud day. With so much leg strength, your measly arms just don't measure up to the one-two combination of kicks knocking that tray off the tracks.

So the question is, how do you suffer injury and delay of meals with a straight face? How do you find that medium between keeping your sense of humor while showing your baby who's boss? After all, you don't want to risk becoming the "bad parent" so many people have warned you about. The answer? Here it is. Wait for it. Oh, it's coming.

All new parents are asking that same question. Seasoned parents will be happy to tell you as soon as they get the kids to bed, wash the dishes, fold the laundry... what was the question again?

The truth is, there is no magical medium. Sometimes all you can do is close your eyes and count to ten. It's just a perk that trying to stifle your laughter looks remarkably like controlling your temper. (The kids don't need to know that secret until they have children of their own.) Besides, you have his entire childhood to raise him properly, while her super strength will only last a little while.

BabyBjorn Baby Carrier Original Review

BabyBjorn Baby Carrier Original

What parent doesn't want a hands-free way to tote their tot? The BabyBjorn Baby Carrier Original is a great world- and mom-facing carrier designed to assist in hefting your new bundle around, while also leaving your arms available for those push ups you're trying to cram in. It also provides support for bobble-headed newborns who still lack the neck strength to hold their noggins on their own.


Photo by babybjorn.com

For brand new babies, it's designed for cradling against mommy's chest in an effort to promote bonding. Older tykes enjoy a broader perspective when turned outward in full view of the world. While the mom-facing design is theoretically great for eye contact and closeness, my daughter wasn't a fan of being forced to gaze at my mug. I couldn't coax her into hanging out in this carrier so long as I was the view.

Photo by babybjorn.com

For other moms who might experience this snag, don't give up. Once she was old enough to hold her head up, she absolutely loved seeing the world from the arms-waving-feet-dangling perspective offered by the Baby Bjorn.

It's easy to use and the adjustable straps grow with your child. The price can range between $60-$80 and it makes a great registry item. Even though I wasn't able to use it for the first several months, I'd recommend it as an example of delayed gratification.

Dear Expectant Mom

Dear Expectant Mom: 

You're beautiful. You're not fat; you're making room for one more. You're tired, achy, and irritable because you have a tiny person kicking you all day. On the other hand, you have a tiny person kicking you all day. You pee every ten minutes and you can't climb off the couch without help. Even though you've never slept on your belly or back, those are suddenly the only positions that seem comfortable; and, of course, you can't do that (can you say, "Don't push the red button"?). It sometimes takes an hour before you fall asleep and when you do, you have dreams of dropping the baby. You worry about money and whether you'll be a good enough mom and whether you're gaining too much/not enough weight. Strangers want to rub your stomach and that's the last thing you want to think about since you can't keep any food in it. You have to sleep in a sports bra and you can't even remember the last time you wore cute underwear. Breathe.

You're amazing. What you're doing is remarkable. You're sacrificing so much already for the sake of someone you haven't even seen. Pregnancy isn't just a phase you have to pass through before having a child. It's an involved route on your journey into parenthood. Pregnancy prepares you for the sacrifices, inconveniences, and difficult times ahead. But it also readies you for the wonderful changes that are coming. You don't expect motherhood to be easy, so how could carrying a child be any different?

You're deserving of all good things. You're having nightmares of being an inadequate parent because you care so much about being enough for your child. Good enough. Patient enough. Smart enough. Strong enough. You will be. Motherhood has a learning curve; don't worry. Every mother who ever came before you had the same fears and anxieties. You're doing a great job as a mom already - you're taking your vitamins; you're talking to your baby (even if others think you're crazy); and you're loving your unborn child.

You're strong. Waddling around all day isn't easy. Your hormones are racing in every direction and your husband is afraid to stand too close sometimes. That's okay. He knows you're strong, too (that's why he's hiding the frying pans and baseball bats for the next nine months).

You're going to be a great mom. It's okay to plop down on the couch because you're tired. It's okay to cry because that Chevy commercial was so touching. It's okay to scream into your pillow because you're feeling overwhelmed. It's okay to eat mac 'n cheese every night for a month because it's the only thing that doesn't make you puke. It's okay. Whatever you have to do to cope with stress/worries/fears is okay. 

You're beautiful, amazing, deserving, and strong. Your baby may not be here just yet, but you are already a great mom. And that little stowaway already loves you more than you know.

She Did Just Spit Up, Right?

Babies are a lot like magicians. They begin honing their skills in the hospital with those first attempts at breaking free of the swaddle. Once home, they grow and evolve until even the Velcro blankets (specifically designed to thwart the efforts of tiny escapees) can no longer contain them. It's amazing the first time you see that tiny foot shoot through a hole that wasn't there a minute ago.

Another fun newborn trick is projectile vomiting. For any first-time parent, the sight of that milky gush is terrifying. It's so much. But when she fires a line-drive to Uncle Al from across the room and immediately giggles, she's letting you know not to worry. (Still, it's always best to mention it to the pediatrician just to be safe.)

Her heat-seeking missiles and an impressive ability to wriggle free of a burrito hold are just the beginning. As she gets older, the real trick - the one that keeps you scratching your head long into the night - is the disappearing spit up.

I'm not talking about the ever so graceful slurp of the dangling loogie. I'm talking about the ooze that spews from her mouth and miraculously disappears within seconds. Sure, you found some of it; after all, it landed in your hand (great catch, by the way). You may have even spotted a drop of leftover dribble on her chin, but there are at least two ounces missing. Gone. Vanished.

My theory? I'm convinced babies find worm holes in which to dispose of pesky upchuck. Maybe they use those passageways to another dimension to help us out. Perhaps they see us cleaning up after them all day and think, "Hey. I've got this, Mom." Maybe they do it just to be funny - fodder for the sandbox.

Whatever the reason, the fact remains: she spit up in the kitchen and you found a tiny pool in the living room. You wiped her mouth and searched the area, but none of it landed on her. So how did it pool underneath your butt? You weren't even holding her. Are the alternate universe babies rejecting it? Or maybe they're communicating through a sophisticated code of regurgitated carrots. Did it really just disappear into the abyss of the couch? Or is it traveling through time only to meet you at your ninetieth birthday party?

Regardless of how or why it disappears, only your baby knows the secret. All you can do is wipe up the puddles that surface and wear a catcher's mitt to your next few birthday bashes.

Rolling with the Punches

I wonder if there's a form of martial arts that can be converted into diaper changing defense. I'm thinking the Karate Kid crane technique combined with Tibetan monk meditation. For the first few months, any rookie can change a diaper. Fast, slow - it doesn't really matter. The baby basically just stays where you plop her.  One thing I've learned as a new mom, however, is that the art of diaper duty is constantly changing. Just when you think you're about to break your record, she discovers rolling.

Watching a baby learn and explore is amazing. When she starts rolling from point A to point how-the-heck-did-you-get-over-there, it quickly evolves into a new lifestyle for you both. Now that she's becoming mobile and learning how to move independently, those skills don't stop at the floor.

What was once a pesky interruption transforms into a game of one-on-one. It's bad enough when your little wiggler twists and turns all over the changing table as you play whack-a-mole with the baby wipe. It's another thing entirely when all you have is the floor and some good intentions.

No rails quickly translates into free reign for your twisty little mover. Your ankle hold suddenly lacks conviction. Oh, sure; it's funny until she flips onto her belly and makes a break for it - before the new diaper is in place. Now you're dealing with: 1) catching a crafty little scooter before she finds a dead bug; and 2) thwarting your escapee before she sprinkles the floor in her birthday suit.

My advice: get fast - quick. Use a toy or a clean diaper to distract her (don't get too comfortable - you may need to switch out a different object several times a day). Play with her so that you become more interesting than the box of wipes behind her head (and don't feel bad when you're not more interesting than the box). Blowing on her tummy and singing songs can go a long way to keeping her belly up. And for those messier diapers... well, hold your breath and pray.

Just Call Me "Boob"

"Mom". "Mama". "Mommy". That's my name now, isn't it? I'm pretty sure for the first six months of her life, my daughter just knew me as "Boob". While breastfeeding does wonders for health and bonding, the side effects are downright funny.

While feeding, your baby might gaze at you with unbridled adoration. She sees her protector; the one who keeps her safe and loved. Five minutes earlier, however, she was Wile E. Coyote. Face it: you were a juicy bird and she would've dropped an anvil on you for a taste.

Actually, newborns, regardless of gender, are a lot like many teenage boys. They only see what's on your chest, they'll squirm for as long as it takes to get to them, and once there, they've lost interest.

Similarly is their love/hate relationship with those same sandbags. Why else would they insist on those roundhouse kicks to your sternum as they snack? Bruises aside, one thing you can always count on (at least in the early days) is the diaper blowout five minutes into each feeding.

Being associated with a food source isn't all bad, but don't kid yourself into thinking yours are the only tater tots she's after. When it comes to other female friends and relatives, your little explorer is all about new conquests. Hopefully, your visitors won't mind an occasional roving hand or subsequent wardrobe malfunction or take offense to a little lip smacking. After all, she's just looking for an afternoon snack.